I am told this every time the missus has overnight work on the weekends. Never mind the fact that I am from a town of 18,000 and now live in a town that's around 600,000. The noise, hustle and bustle etc are accentuated by the fact that A.)It's fucking Mexico and B.)There are cartels here. Yes, plural. Cartels.
Like tonight for example: I wanted to go get a few beers to entertain myself while I watch bad Spanish-language tv, but didn't go. Why? Because there were two cars full of assholes with guns. I'm not anti-gun by any means, but i couldn't BRING my guns with me. So I'm unarmed, unless you count a plastic spatula and 6 cats + profanity.
I'm locked in the house, watching the cats chase moths across the ceiling like it was the best entertainment ever, and the neighbor to the right has horrific music playing. A constant bass thud through the walls of dum--dumDUMdum--dumDUMdum spackled with howls that I would expect from monkeys in hell who are having their genitalia pulled out by Richard Simmons on meth.
He is also fighting with his wife. I know this because he's drinking in his car out front. There is currently a nest of aluminum cans outside the driver's side door that would make any recycler jizz in his coveralls.
I went to the mall today, and was greeted by soldiers. I've mentioned this before, but at least I felt semi-safe. Currently there are no soldiers where I am located. There are, however, assholes with counterfeit Abercrombie and Fitch shirts brandishing AR15's, who probably couldn't hit the broad side of the barn, but that's beside the point.
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The neighbors to my left are cool, but the ones next to him piss me off. I can't move my truck without the old man coming out to watch my back-and-forth exit-the-parallel-parking-clusterfuck as if it were a spectator sport. He waves and tsks as I'm maneuvering, which makes me want to punch him in his balls. I don't give a flying scrotum if he DID work for Carta Blanca beer and retired. He upsets me. Period.
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Yesterday, there was a herd of people dressed as zombies wandering around the stop light. People were mad because they wouldn't move out of traffic. I walked outside to smoke a cigarette and was taken aback at first. I thought there was some kind of traffic accident or gun battle I'd missed, but no. Just young Mexican folks dressed as zombies, as you tend to this time of year. Not even asking for money. I have NO fucking clue what it meant.
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